Surveyy.

Is there any difference between ‘best friend’ and friend?
-yesh, best friend is whom u bathe with, and friend is whom you can ditch with. :p

Has anybody on your top ever admitted to liking you?
- He said he love me.

Do you miss anyone?
- yeshh my top 1 and my top 2.

Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone?
- November 2008.

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug?
- Just now, after dinner. My dad.

Who is your celebrity crush?
- Forever Josh Hartnett. Awww.

Can you touch your toes?
- of course la.

Do you know anybody who was abused?
- yeppp.

Do you take walks often?
- used to, but not anymore. Hehe.

Is silence really golden?
- if u think so, then u are a boring homo sapien.

Do you have any interesting tattoos/piercings?
- nope. Not my interest.

Are you afraid to grow up?
- yeshh. I wanna be 18!

Who were you with last night?
- my grandparents.

Can you count past 100?
- mestilah.

What language do you want to learn?
- Spanish. Sexy giler la.

Any upcoming vacations?
- everyday is a vacation for me if I have plenty of bucks.

If you had to marry someone on your top, who would it be?-
My Top 1!!

Do you care what people think of you?
- Nope at all. Unless if its frm my family.

Would you call yourself smart?
- Smart – ASS who likes to eat SMARTIES!

Do you like to read?
- yesssssshhhh..!!!

Have you ever touched an elephant before?
- Errr yes, but human’s elephant. Hehehe.

Plans for tomorrow?
- Kemas office tommy la kot!

Confessions:

Is anything wrong?
- Yeahp. I fucking hate Maxis!

Would you date anyone on your top friend?
- I AM dating one of them. :p

Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)?
- Yeshhh. I am my dad’s apple.

What did you do for your last birthday?
- Ex had a surprise for me. Memories.

What were you doing at midnight last night?
- Online, missing him, and slept off.

Is there something that you CANNOT wait for?
- To pay my Maxis bill.

What's your favorite season?
- Mendung. Heheh.

Have you ever talked to Tom?
- Tom ape????

Last thing you ate/drank?
- Nescafe Ais and Soup. Diet u olz.

Have you ever ran with scissors?
- Tak la kot.

Who’s making you feel the way you are right now?
- Myself.

Most visited web page?
- Myspace, Facebook, Blogger.

Coke or Pepsi?
- Coke.

How many myspace friends told you you were funny?
- Ntah la. None. Cuz Im not funny.

How many siblings do you have?
- None! Heaven.

What's your favorite number?
- Seven and Fourteen.

What are you watching right now?
- Some Cinapex punye cerita lar.

Do you know how to swim?
- Yepp, since I was 3 ok! Bole challenge tak..?

Friend confessions:

Are you jealous of one or more of your friends?
- Not to say jealous, but adore.

Have you known any of your friends your whole life?-
ermm not really.

Are any of your friends taller than you?
- Yesshh. Most of them are taller than me. Hrmm.

Have you ever been ditched by a friend?
- Yesh. Biasalah tue. Bitches they come they go.

Where do your friends live?
- Here and there

Have you lost or forgotten a friends phone number?
- I can’t even remember my bf’s number. HAAAAA!!

Have you been to most of your friends house?
- Yesh. Sheeda’s!

Love confessions:

Are you in love?
- As far as I could say, YES.

Do you get bored of your girlfriend/boyfriend easily?
- Kinda la. Depends on who my partner is.

Has one of your crushes ever called you self-centered before?
- A lot of them la. Malas nak layan.

Personal opinion confessions:

Who did you want for President?
- Me.

Do you think abortions are horrible?-
YES! Memang tidak lah.

Needles aren't so horrible?
- I can be one. HOHOHO.

Other confessions:

Do you enjoy drama?
- yeshhh. Especially when it involve the ppl I know. Spotted!

A very cherish moring...

I am so freeking mad with Maxis for barred my calls, sebab tak bayar bill. Bummer!! And I had to bought a new number to call/sms. And it didn't even activATE yet. Babi sangat, bukan?

So, anyways (very the Miss Mayu style kan), I woke up at 6am for a very special reason. Which I appreciated it alot. Thanks boyfriend.! Boyfren all the way from Bangi came down to Taman Gembira, Klang at 6.50am to bring me for breakfast. Haaa! Ok. then I drove his manual car, let me bold iT, 'MANUAL' car tauuuu! Mega kat situ, ottay?

Pastu, we watched movie and at first cam boring la, then after an hour camtu, it gets creepy and horrified. The title is REC. It was not D movie but it was allright la. Then, went back to Mum's office and got sesat on the way there. Fuck up gila! But, my wonder man finally gets to to its way and TARAHHHHHH sampai ponn kat ofis Mama!!!!

andd, tu jelah for today. toodloo! :)

Was it normal to everyone....

...or wasn't it? I don't know how to react. To be happy, or to be upset? Or to be just nunb? U tell me. *sigh*

Nights is always meaningful...

Aduhaiiii kenapa lah panas sangat Malaysia nie? Kenapa lah tahun ni duit cepat habis? Kenapa lah tahun nie cam suam2 jer. tak sebest tahun lepas? Why??? Why?? Why?? Serve me well la kan, last year byk guna duit haram, padan muka tahun nie rezeki aku tutup. Yay and thanks, God. *upset*

Ermm, yesterday was fun! Thanks :) tapi once I get home, I was all moody. But thanks to grandpa and grandma for buying me stuffs at Vietnam. Love the clutch, but not the bag. I mean it was nice and all but its too adult for me. So, reward to Mum. I know, and i love u toooo.

Oh yeah, yesterday as I was alone in my room, dead bored, bf lak takde, g tgk bola, so I wrote a poem. Just for suka-suka. Hehe. It sounds sucks, but whtaver, I like it. Credit to me! :) I'm so smart, don't i? :PPP

To Sayang-kins.

Like a bed of roses,

You made my life as good as parfum,

Like a rainbows,

You colors it beautifully and cheerfully,

Like a gummy bears,

You taste so sweeeeet,

Like an aromatheraphy candles,

You enlighten my mood,

Like an adorable flush toys,

U're hugable,

Like a Tv Series,

I enjoys watching and waiting the plot,

Like a condom,

You're always there when things get hard,

Like a wonderful hot sex,

You're pleasurable to be with.

:)

NTAHHHHHHHH...

I AM HUNGRY. I AM HUNGRY. I AM HUNGRY. I AM HUNGRY. I AM MISERABLE. I AM MISERABLE. I AM MISERABLE. I AM SLEEPY, TOO. I AM BROKE, TOO. I AM LONELY HERE, TOO. I AM BORED. I AM CRAVING FOR DESSERT AT FRIDAY'S AND DOME. I AM IN NEED OF NEW SONGS AND MORE SONGS. I WANT TO CHANGE MY LIFESTYLE. I WANT TO CHANGE MY SCHEDULE. I WANT TO CHANGE ME. (hheheheh). SEMUA PUN LAH. I NAK NEW LINGERIES JUGA! HRMM.. SO LIFELESS LA TODAY. I NEED TO PARTY, PLEASE? NAK DOWN DRINKS. BOLE? K LAH BYE!

Murder She Wrote To.....

Today, I am in the mood to write a letter to the people whom I found that they are important to me, and who shares the other half of me. (Awwwww!!)

To Dad,

U know how much I love you, kan? Even how hard I slammed the door right at ur face, deep down I felt really guilty and such a whore loser by doing that to you. And, how I throw things at you, when Im mad or when u ignore my needs, and how jealous I can be when u treated the kids like how u treated me, and u know how freeking jealous I can be when u are so close with mum. I know it silly, but that's just me. And thanks for being so very patient with me. I love u. And I know that U can't live without me even a second distance.

To Mum,

You are the coolest mum ever--ever!! You are being so open with me, and I feel so comfortable when we ever talk about sex positions and all. Hehe. Atleast I can gain knowledge by it, so that I don't have to watch porn. Just Kidding. But, at times I just hate your ego that u have in you, especially with me. But you are a great cook, and a great interior designer, and a great shopper!

To Grandparents,

You two spoilt me with moneyand tenderness. Don't blame me. You two are the most happening grandparents I ever had. By the age of 72 (Tommy), and 66(awe), you two still behaving like a younger one, and could still drive a car and went shopping with me. Looooove sgt2! Bole paw!

To Boyfriend,

Haaaa! Ni byk gle nak cte. U are the best one, yet the annoya one. Hehe. Especially when u tgh lemau hbs or tido lmbt, and it gets to my nerves. If u ever realise how annoyed my face can be when u acted that way. But, I never took it to the heart because I could understand. But, I admit I can be a pain in ur ass, at times. Biasalah tu buat muka ketat. But, it does not have any meaning. Trust me. Even how mad I am, I will never tell you why, and I will never show it obviusly. Just some hints, that might as well U wont even realise. Just wanna make you happy all the time. Tapi, I looooove the care that u showed to me. Especially when we stayed together. And how u care abou my things cuz u noe how forgetful I can be, kan??? Anddd, I am being very impatient at times and clumsy too. And I hope u are coping it well. Tahnk you. I love you sgt2. I just dont know how to show it, but keep my words, under ur sleeve. You are whom I have now to share my tears, sweats, and jovial. I own ur shoulder to lean on, and I own your heart to keep me safe there.I own the whole you. I won't ask much from you, just to love me, and be faithful and I need your sincerity. Even if you dont feel the vibe between us and feel there's no more sunshines and rainbows, just tell me straight to my nose. I don't adore one-way-relationship. But, I love you. It's a nice extreme rides with you. There are still a lot more to say, but some are better left unsaid. Like, seriously.

To Sheeda,

You are my number 1 bitch! I hate you for loving you so much! Hahaha. I love you sssooooo much, dot! Kaulah aku punye moving diary and aku punya tempat mengadu weyhh. Tempat mengumpat pon kau. Semua pon kau sapu lah senang cte! Hheehhe. Aku syg kau, sape2 jeles pergilah M, makanlah T. hEEEE. Kita dua pon dah cukup. I have you, and you definitely have me, always and forever!

To Sue,

I know How ur so busy with Faris, and we can't really hang out frequelntly like how we used to be, but our friendship is as strong as before and I love you sgt. We are partner in crime. You are a big girl already, and I'm not ur mummy to tell you whats right and whats not, because I would understand, how I hate it when ppl started to set a life for me. Kan? As a best frend, I am being very supportive, just a lil advise won't harm anything. We need each other. Muahhhhhz!

To Hani,

Looove jaga aku kan kau nie. Mummy2 sgt. I appreciated it so much. Hheeh. Sayang kau terrrruk punyee!!!!

Lastly,

To me,

Please behave Didie. U know how U used to be a verry innocent child. Back to future. I love you.

Wishlist 21st January 2000 - end February.

• Trim my hair, and shorten my fringe. By this Friday or Saturday.
• Manicure & Pedicure this weekend or this CNY break.
• Although dad bought me D60, it still ain't enough, so I am in need of a polaroid! Mega sangat u olz. Whoever knows the price of it? (tapi takkan dapat la kut)
• I need a gray vintage jeans/skinny.
• A new handphone. *grin grin*
• Sling bag from Topshop. Fucking awesome doe!
• Few Tees. Nak pg Curve's flee market..!
• A new Fossil watch by early March.

Perfection is Boring, Loser is drain, Then..?

I dont feel like talking, but I feel like writing something. I am having my PMS, fucking right now. Bila dah PMS memang rasa nak marah je lah kan. Fuck. I fucking miss daddy and mummy. It has been 9 days since I meet them. Meaning, I have to go back HOME this friday or Thursday night. Besides asking for money, I need a new handphone too. Handphone aku tgh tipsy nie, tunggu nak pass out n lost je tinggal.

I am finding for a new habit. A good one, of course. I need to do some activities that can occupied me. But I still does not have anything in mind. Any suggestion? Butt, I was thinking of playing pool. I'm suck at it, but daddy is a legend at it. Boleh la ajar, ayah! Takpun, bersukan. Tapi laharlah nak bersukan sorg2,kan? Hurmmm I dunno lah. Let it come by itself.

I think I am having problem with myself. I am dealing with it. And I get fed up with it. I just dont know how to make myself as a good one. Isk. Babi lah. See, Im swearing again. I am famous with my laid back attitude among my friends, and sebab terlamapu laid back sgt lah this is wat i have turn to. Tapi takpelah, Im happy withit. Everything has it ending. So, why wait. Like they said, Nobody is perfect, but if nobody is perfect, why the heck do u care to be perfect? Perfectionist is a major loser. Ok, mengarut lagi.

I am not sure already....

i spent my weekends with unhealthy habits. But, with that, I managed to done 2 assignments in a day, which I am fairly proud of myself.

I hate Sunday because tomorrow is Monday. And I hate Monday because today is Sunday and I still could not sleep and I have 4 hours of graphic class with Miss British Bitch on Monday. Fuck!

**UPDATE**

Today is monFUCKday. I still have not sleep. My eyes are swollen and puffy. Thanks to the eyeliner and my big round eyes, it covers the whole tired looking. I'm stuck in graphic class. i NEED to sleeeeeeeeeeeep! Ugh. I cnt stand for another 3 more hours in this lameness class. Oh, wait, is she's trying to make a joke? Sumpah tak kelakar, perempuan!

I'm having my period.soon as I woke up today morning.
Luckily, it's worth it. :p
I was hibernated today, all I was doing was just dozing off.

Hectic day la today. Class started as early as 8.30 in the morning and ends at 9 at night.
I am loving my photo class today. We learnt how to use camera betul2. It's not as easy as I thought. It's kinda hard okay. Gila lah carly. GRR!

Tahi

Tahi terjadi hari ni.
Apa dia?
Tertinggal kunci locker di rumah sbb aku tukar handbag lain.
Kemudian,
Satu level dtg bilik aku, try nak kopakkn almari tu and the padlock.
Dalam dekat an hour gak la.
Last2 dtg sorg wonder woman, Fara namanya.
Tolong umpil guna spanar.
Phewww. Baru bole.
Grr.
Didie ni clumsy sgtttt kan???

oh snap!

Sigh...

I lost my matrix card...but i found it already in his car.

Im kinda doom today because I wasn't feeling good, and my classes are FUCKING pack.
From 8.30am till 9pm. *Stress*.

I'm still in my graphic class, onlining, blogging, and listening to craps. And, got an assignment which Sue is my tag team, about traditional clothes in graphic class. And another assignment in my Psychology class. Ugh.



It's 6.08pm, and I havent even have my breakfast and my lunch.

I hate this part right here, right now.

What is up to me these days? Getting too moody and all worried these few days. It's like something is playing me outside and outside. And these dirtly silent feelings is conquering my life and my relationship. Should I sweep it off to the drain, or assuring it on my own wether it was just a feeling or was it coming to me and that is an early signs for me to be prepare? I don't have any swell ideas about it already. Fuck! I hate that. I want the old me, BACK. I should probably get going. Bye.

Why Would I Ever Done That When They Love Me So Much?

2008 brings lots of dramas to me. Most of it was the unwanted ones. Yes, I kinda said that I don't really prefer what 2008 had gave me especially when it comes to relationships and feeling occured. Well not most of it, but most of it. Mcm keling bukan? All of these made me learn to be wiser, stronger, and STOP pretending something that I wasn't. And, all of these made me think twice before i think, defend myself for which I may not like, and acting cool and ready whenever suprises visits me. Yes, 2009 will definitely gonna change me, drastically. As much as I hate to say this, but, I feel like an ass this 2008. Being a nasty fren, rude daughter, unfaithful gf (was), and a money spender were much like commiting suicide. I hate what I had done, and I know I was at the wrong lane. I was lost, and my head stumbled upside down with my eyes close in the middle of nowhere. All i was waiting was a really really fast train to hit me, without being dead, but just a halusination so that I can learn from it. How was it feel to me when it hit me right on my face. And by then, i can say how sorry I am to those who i had hurt especially to those who really cared for me, but i turned them down. Im sorry.

***

To mum and dad, Im sorry I put ur trust aside, and I cant be the child taht You want me to be, but definitely I will try. I wont let U down for the second time.

To friends, good one, and the best one, Im sorry for everything, I love u girls. Cant wait to rocking it again. Missss u girls.

To my Ex-bf, It was my mistakes, and we both should realise how we used to love each other so much back then, but we r not destined for each other and how we both actually living our own way of life now, not hating each other anymore, but keeping the memories and setting for a new one, with new atmosphere, new characters. Changes is wat we two have to change. I feel terrible and I feel bad, but thanks for being an understanding one after the whole explanations. I know u would, and thanks again for being the supportive one to me with my new guy. U know I love him. And you, please find the right one, ok. We both know how complicated u can be, right? haha. That's wats hot in you. Ugh! (puke)

To my dearie BF, U know how i hate nags and fights and miscommunications, right. So yeah no more nags and small fights. Ok? I hate it, and everytime we had that little fights, it made my love washed away. I love u so much, and I hate losing it. All i was hoping was just sunshine and rainbows. Days after days I want us to love each other more than ever. I dont want any bad changes, and I dont like it. I want compromise and understanding between us. The thing here is I love u so much and I cant bear it when u ever said somthing that might made me wana cry. Even if it's nothing to you, but it's something to me. Im sorry for being a pest. But I admit it that you were so sweet to me and u made me smile everytime I need my smile back. Again, I love you. And I want you, badly. Show me that you love me, and speak to me like you love me. <33

happy new year, world!

hello hello hello. Oh yeah before I ever forget, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 BUDDIES. I'm late for 3 days, but hey my schedule was tide and full of moments to share. Anddd sorry little bloggy for not visited you for quite a while. Im sorry. First of all, I was stuck in the middle of jungle for 5 fucking days, doing fucking kebajikan things, with fuck up sleeping hours, but great oldies. So, yeah then the next day I was busy for my registration thingy which was on Monday and the rest of the days I was busy hanging out and losing out. My New Year Celebration was fine, and well at least my bf is with me. We celebrated at A Famosa, his freind's banglo and the house was full of stoners, drunkards, sobers, and, the air is full of happiness. I had fun. I was blast.

I have few resolutions that I wish I could done it before 2010 arise :-

1. Get Dean's List for Semester Three.
2. Quit unhealthy habits.
3. Get fit.
4. Be more like a 20 years old girl.
5. Manage time and money well.
6. Appreciate ppl around me more.
7. Be more patient and quit my temper.
8. Have a wonderful realtionship, even if i lose one, i will stop search for one.
9. Not to bite my nails.
10. Love ppl who love me.
11. Rebel sucks.
12. And live the way I want to live, according to me.

Bye!