Jan 3, 2009

Why Would I Ever Done That When They Love Me So Much?

2008 brings lots of dramas to me. Most of it was the unwanted ones. Yes, I kinda said that I don't really prefer what 2008 had gave me especially when it comes to relationships and feeling occured. Well not most of it, but most of it. Mcm keling bukan? All of these made me learn to be wiser, stronger, and STOP pretending something that I wasn't. And, all of these made me think twice before i think, defend myself for which I may not like, and acting cool and ready whenever suprises visits me. Yes, 2009 will definitely gonna change me, drastically. As much as I hate to say this, but, I feel like an ass this 2008. Being a nasty fren, rude daughter, unfaithful gf (was), and a money spender were much like commiting suicide. I hate what I had done, and I know I was at the wrong lane. I was lost, and my head stumbled upside down with my eyes close in the middle of nowhere. All i was waiting was a really really fast train to hit me, without being dead, but just a halusination so that I can learn from it. How was it feel to me when it hit me right on my face. And by then, i can say how sorry I am to those who i had hurt especially to those who really cared for me, but i turned them down. Im sorry.

***

To mum and dad, Im sorry I put ur trust aside, and I cant be the child taht You want me to be, but definitely I will try. I wont let U down for the second time.

To friends, good one, and the best one, Im sorry for everything, I love u girls. Cant wait to rocking it again. Missss u girls.
To my Ex-bf, It was my mistakes, and we both should realise how we used to love each other so much back then, but we r not destined for each other and how we both actually living our own way of life now, not hating each other anymore, but keeping the memories and setting for a new one, with new atmosphere, new characters. Changes is wat we two have to change. I feel terrible and I feel bad, but thanks for being an understanding one after the whole explanations. I know u would, and thanks again for being the supportive one to me with my new guy. U know I love him. And you, please find the right one, ok. We both know how complicated u can be, right? haha. That's wats hot in you. Ugh! (puke)
To my dearie BF, U know how i hate nags and fights and miscommunications, right. So yeah no more nags and small fights. Ok? I hate it, and everytime we had that little fights, it made my love washed away. I love u so much, and I hate losing it. All i was hoping was just sunshine and rainbows. Days after days I want us to love each other more than ever. I dont want any bad changes, and I dont like it. I want compromise and understanding between us. The thing here is I love u so much and I cant bear it when u ever said somthing that might made me wana cry. Even if it's nothing to you, but it's something to me. Im sorry for being a pest. But I admit it that you were so sweet to me and u made me smile everytime I need my smile back. Again, I love you. And I want you, badly. Show me that you love me, and speak to me like you love me. <33

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