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ive been to a massive break up. The one that i dont think i can ever forget. The one dat i always remembers. Its hard for me to switch it off like that. Really. I am trying, dont say i dont try. Its painful, yet challenging. yesterday, i was happy. But, during it, i was so sad, and swear to god, i almost cried. But, i controlled, cause i dont want to cry anymore. Never again. But, it was an effort for u, after a month plus. My instinct was right, and always right, especially when it comes to u. Im done trying. And im gonna live my own life. Its a pleasure for u to enjoy, and a pain for me to suffer. I miss u.

if u say yes, i would scream!

its hard to live my life. everyone seems to think that i have a perfect life. Yes, i do have a perfect life. Family is perfect. Money is allright. Friends are awesome. Lifes are good. But, when it comes to love, i am always a failure and fulls of impurities. Is it me or the partner? I am d type who wants what she wish for, and once i get what i want, i tend to not bother n not appreciate what i wished for. Thats me.

Nhh

Individual

First of all, I am Single. Yes, pelik kan? So whoever that dying and waiting to se e me as an individual, well, this is your chance. i admit that I havent been single for quiete some time, if Im not mistaken since I was 15 right untill few days after my birthday. Sigh. I am not saying I am happy, but the least I can say is I hope I can be happier. I am 20 already and Im getting older and not any younger, and cause of that, I chose this way as my way of life. I chose to be an individual, and lead my own life making it as my own preferences, and dealing with my own hormonal issues,not caring what other people wanna say. To be specific, my self is my self and I want to deal it on my own. I just want to be happy with parents and friends and I dont think I need another more guys to make me happy. As for now, I dont need them just myself, and few 2 / 3 important people. So if u cunts wanna try to get me, well you may but you should gimme sme time, and win my heart.

Happy 20th birthday!

I had my awesome time on my birthday - 14 aug2009.

Thanks to boyfriend, girlfrens, and the guys. Much Love!

Son-shine.

I hate this weeeeek. Where I am being hormonal, and acted like a demented crazy mother of a bitch. I'd cried few times for some stupid stuff, hurt few people that I love most, been a cold hearted human, and also a fuckingly lazy lady. So unpleasant! Thank god, this weekend I did something, well practically I actually went out from my place and watched movie with fren. Phew. I am tired of studying especially in Melaka, where all the excitements are buried in hell hole.The same routine everyday, same behaviors, same unhealthy afternoon, evening, and night, save food, save surroundings, and lots of same shits. Thanks to some lovely people as my wing men.

As all I'd learned, well I think its time for me to actually move on, live my life, dont give a fuck bout certain someone and just be normal. In order to forget the past, i have to create a new future, and burn down the memories. Right, as easy as i said this,it's tougher than it sounds. Fuck it, i dont give a multi label anymore.

It's funny when I have to wait and hold againts it, which I knew from day one that it's just a hopeless hope that i've been craving for. It's stupid and Clever-less. Well I guess it's true when ppl said that they are happy with someone they dont seem to care less, trust me, they are cheating themselves. It's hurting when you start cheating yourself, and the end of the day, you are just a pity person that finds for a reason to make yourself comfortable and acting like THE nost happiest person on earth with a so-called-PERFECT partner, "perfect" relationship, where deep down you just cant seem to get rid of a certain someone that you love the most. Im sorry, but I think that person is coward to grab what he really wants. All i can say is, just try it, and if its work, then find a way to be happy again. I'm not waiting for anything, just living my life with the one that i love.

You know who you are, I love you, always have, always will.

words and numbers.

I will love you. I always remember ur words to me, and the way u set me free. The way u make me footloose and how u calm me when I'm with my heavy tears. When you talked to me, I felt alive and happy. U've took 3.45 part of me, and I only left 0.55 on my own. Yes, I miss you too. And Im counting days from the last time we talked. Trust me, Im counting.