I hate you, but i have to save that.

I dont care what you wanna think when reading this. But, I write what I think I should. After all, it's my blog, and my diary. Ok, tbe2 je I am sooo freeking JK today. Suddenly. Just because I found out something that stoke directly to my left heart, squeezing and soaking the blood dried and left it empty and I end up running a few drops of tears on my face. It was a natural response, I didn't made up my tears.



It's so stupid of me to really bother of those things. I should just let it go and live life ahead and think forward. Yea, if its as easy as i said, then I wouldnt even care less, but the fact is, it's hard and it has brought such a big huge gigantic impact in my life. I admit that I'm sad and hurts for knowing that, but heck, there's nothing I could do to bring the shine and the clarity out of it. I should just let it pass, and shut the fuck up about it already.



It's funny when I think about it, where I could actually being sad and cried for something that is impossible. It is possible actually, but for the mean time, I have to close my eyes, empty my brain, pause my feeling, and be a plain numb. A reeeaalll PLAIN NUMB.



I can't imagine how someone could actually make u soooo happy, feel like flying, and all u can see are just multi colors and roses and chocolates, could actually make u feeel shitty, cried, hurt, and, all you can see was just black and white and dead colors. Salute to you. U made my day. U made me happy, and u made me sad. I don't know wheter to love you or to hate you. Bye.