Silent Mode

In my every relationships, 'this' matter will definitely occurs. In my 6 or 7 or 8 or I cant remmeber how many relationships I had, 'this' will get off from partners. 'This' is a feeling of how suck I am in showing my love and appreciation towards my partner. Ermmm, let me put that in my CLEAR words. I love my partner. N i appreciate him for what he had done and what he is doing now with me. I love the words that he spoke, and the caress that he showed to me all along I'm with him. I don't have any prob with him, but it's me who have a problem with me. Like?? I hate my eyes although to me they are the perfect thing I have but I hate them because I will look up and down and my eyes will do the talking, and sometimes it gets twisted with the words that I tried to delivered. I hate my mouth, for saying unlimetedly and sometimes my words are harsh and my languages are inproper and that is when mistakes and misunderstood occured. This ALLLLLWWWWAAAAYYYYYSSSSS happens! Farrrrkkkkkk!

I hate it when I wanna say something but my heart won't let me do it, and I fall to it. I hate it when I can't show how much I love him and how touched I am being his gf and how I appreciated him and his tenderness. I wanna show it but there's something like a big HUGE GIGANTIC obstacles that stop me. And that is when he will think that I'm not real and I dont love him.

Honestly, sayang, I love you. Sangat2. But like i told u earlier, I just dont know how to show it. And i guess, my heart matters the most. As long as I know and as long as I feel that i love you, there's nothing else to show. But I will try to show it cuz I want u to feel and to know that I love you so much. I'm sorry that I cant be someone that u expecting me to be, but I'm glad that u started to understand me and use to me. I know, I make you mad sometimes, but u didnt show it to me. I know I make u sad, but u seems don't mind but deep down u felt suck inside. I want us to be forever and I want it for real. I've had enough of boys, and I want a real guy. And i hope that u are my GUY, my Mr. Right not my Mr. Right Now. I want care n tender as our regular basis and intimate things as our holidays. There's a lot more to say but Some things are better left unsaid. Sometimes, silent is golden, remember?