That's that

I may be such a big liar if I say I dont miss him. Yeah, I did. I missed him. We went through shits, thicks and thin. We cried and joy together. We 'were', I suppose. Things are different and I am here with different status and different walls surrounding me with different air that I am breathing now. And i know that I have to live in the present world, not my past.

Honestly, Its hard to forget what we had done together for nearly 3 years even I have someone who i love most beside me. But, still, at times It triggers me. Once said 'it takes a minute to love someone, but forever to forget them'. It's not really forever, but it occurs when you are alone, and doing nothing, sitting on your couch, and thinking. Right?

You guys must be thinking that, I still cant forget my past. Wrong! But it's a normal shits where all normal ppl would thought of. Honestly, Im not regretting about the break up. I'm not. Why would I feel regret of it? I have someone who care for me now. And someone who love me. I just have to indulge every bits of it.

I know it is too early for me to say things like 'he's the one for me', 'we are gona get married together', or any happily-ever-after stories. But, it cerain sense, I know that this life is about trying and experience things that sometimes will lead u to places that u never expect to be. In my case,yes, I know its early for me to get in a relationship with him, but some ways are better be soon. like 'the sooner, the better'. If things does not work out, at least Im glad for having someone who atleast care for me in a way, and its a lesson for me to master in.

I have this feeling that my relationship with him is not gonna be forever. It just my feeling that I have to fight with. Its sucks to feel that when the person is someone that you are starting to love. Been there done that. Iknow Im not a good girlfriend who follows everyhting that her partner say. I always say No to him. And everyhting has to be in my way. And, I know i dont really show my love to him besides saying I love you. It's me. Deep down, I love him. I'm just scared that he might get bored with my attitude. It's not that i dont try to change, I did. But, it just dont seem to work out. Thats about me that u have to know.

Sue said that he is one patient guy. I bet he is. Especially when things get hard at the middle of my unstabilised mind. When words may be hurtful. Like, i cursed and I said something unpleasant at him. And it sucks. Im sorry. Despite that he says OK in whatever I said, he cares for me. I love him, for that.

I miss him. Badly. I need you. Good luck with ur rugby. Have fun in Perak.